I Faltered

I control my vibration!

I would do well to remember that always. I know there is always a choice as to how I’m feeling. Either tuned into source or not, How I feel is a very good barometer of where that vibration is heading.


I’m sitting here at my desk for the last 20 minutes crying my eyes out.  I feel like I’m going nowhere. I feel like it’s all going to be just like last time I tried to start a business. I wound up homeless and living with my friend for about a month. After that, I lived with my son and his wife for another 4 months. then the wound I had on my foot for almost a year got infected. I had no health insurance during that time. My left foot got infected and  I had a partial amputation of the foot. I spent 3 months in the hospital healing.  Thankfully I was able to get emergency health insurance from the state.  Everything seemed to fall apart around me between Oct 2019 to August 2020.

 Currently, I know I’m creating all of this. That is why it is so frustrating. I cannot blame anyone but myself. I wonder if I’m hearing spirit correctly or not. l have been training those abilities for years. It just seems like I am not moving forward. I feel like I keep manifesting the same things over and over. I’m wondering if I’m hearing the advice properly from my guides. I feel awful at this point and I don’t like the feeling this way.  It is not in alignment with how I want to feel.

Then I ask myself what would I tell a client in the same situation? 

I would tell them to trust the process.  It’s just a blanket statement that means “trust that Source has everything in hand.”  I am not a victim everything is happening for me. 

What would be my thought process around getting back to positive or at least neutral? 

I would go as neutral and general as I could possibly think about it. I would be thankful the sun came up today. I would be thankful the grass has grown. I would be happy the earth is still in its orbit. I would first focus on things I could not control but are thankful for.  Then I would remind myself my guides are always showing me the path of least resistance. Even if it might not seem that way at the time. I trust that my guides are always guiding me to my highest and best. Then no matter what I choose they are going to work around it. I know they are getting me where I want to go.  

I stay into that mindset until I am calm enough to ask my guides what would be the best thing now to calm me down. today I intuitively got was “take a walk.” I trust that I’m getting the right messages at that point because it’s a small thing. It is the bigger things I have trouble with. When the outcomes mean more to me than taking a walk. 

Once I get into my more relaxed mindset I am able to let some of the fear go. It helps me get more in touch with my higher self. From there I just try to relax and know within a few minutes I can be at a neutral place.  Being gentle with myself saying things like ” I am where I am and that’s ok.” eventually I get back to neutral and I can start new tomorrow. 


































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